Subtle notes

In addition to the focused, directed, channeled streaming of energy into my base, I've now had the experience of broad, relaxed, wide seeping of energy downward, like standing in a light rainfall. And actually, it's not that it's either/or; it tends to start off focused and directed, concentrated and narrow, until it hits a certain center in the body, at which point it spreads out, like a spray nozzle on the end of a downward-pointing hose. For most of my practice so far, the spray nozzle has been at the base of my spine. Above that, the energy is intense, concentrated, focused, narrow. Then it disperses in my pelvis and covers my legs with a gentle shower.

What I've learned more recently is to effectively bring the spray nozzle or shower head further up, by relaxing more of my body into a broader base. The warm bath analogy helped me to access this. I've been so intent not to lose the focused stream of energy that I haven't been able to relax as much into a broader flow. Or I've been so intent to feel the compact density of my physical legs that I haven't allowed them to dissipate into a wider, lighter but nevertheless grounding field of vital energy.

First the shower head started at my solar plexus. Then, in the same sitting it gradually rose to my heart, then my third eye, then my crown, where it remained. Each succession brought an incredible new level of rest. I couldn't believe how calm I was, even as the intense energy remained above the shower head. I am normally so activated; all the waves that I've been tuning into and surfing and diving into—they ceased beneath the shower head, replaced by a calm, gentle, surrounding shower. I honestly didn't believe I could relax my third eye, but even that happened, and tears were gently, steadily released without the slightest bit of strain or contraction. It was nothing like crying; it was more like water escaping from a relaxing hand. The shower head didn't go higher than my crown (or maybe just barely above) and it did not lose any of its intensity. If anything, it was more intense than usual, but amazingly there was no headache or burning in my face.

The effects on my day made a lot of sense. I felt comfortable and free. No anxiety. I was more available to people (e.g. to listen to and help a grieving widow), I had more energy (I used a standing desk all day for the first time in weeks), I moved about the office outside my normal paths, I engaged in more conversation. I was relaxed and happy and at home.

Tips for accessing this:

• Relax as if in a warm bath.
• Feel the center of the energy (step into the usually uncomfortable edge of it, often by moving awareness forward in the body, but this of course varies), breathe into it, allow it to breathe me, discern whether a held breath is resistance to an exhale or an inhale—it's sometimes hard to tell, but I'm getting better at it.
• Prioritize relaxation over tracking of the energy; allow it to dissipate into a broader ground.
• If you feel some constant, light tingling in or around your legs, that's all that's needed to invite the energy to ground; you don't need to pull it down or concentrate it or feel it more intensely.
• The wideness of the ground means you don't have to keep such focused concentration on the downward-streaming energy. You won't lose track of it (sending it wherever it goes when you get distracted, maybe into hiding or something...)—you won't lose track of it if your base is nice and wide. It will catch all the raindrops; you don't need to funnel it anymore.
• If you have a lot of unforced voiced sighs, you're probably doing it right.