The main trick I personally use to avoid falling into those traps? If someone is angry at me, even if I don't yet understand why, I defend their right to be angry with me. If I ever find myself tempted to utter the following phrases, I know I've shifted to a mode of deliberately trying to troll someone rather than engage in a productive discussion:
(I will occasionally say the last one more constructively, but that's related to holding people in positions of power accountable for their words and actions)
While a lot of people pay lip service to the idea of "diversity of opinion", I sometimes wonder how many of them actually know what that looks like.
The world is a complicated place, and we're forced to navigate it without a cheat sheet that tells us "do such-a-such a thing to make yourself happy". There's no universally shared "meaning of life" (other than 42), so we're forced to muddle through, doing the best we can, based on the inadequate data we have.
That's loud, and noisy, and messy, and in the cacophony we may learn a little bit more about what it means to be human.
Yes, we have a right to say insensitive things (because giving the government coercive control over opinions is one of the most stupid things a citizenry can ever do, even while it makes sense to keep a tight rein on malicious deceit), but that comes part and parcel with the right of others to come back at us and point out our insensitivity.